TIGblogs TIG | TIGblogs GROUP TIGBLOGS LOGIN SIGNUP
SOF-JasmineR's Friends


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

Rock Hard

If you're ever feeling down, rock hard like this kid:


July 4, 2009 | 6:07 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

Bluepill Redpill

Hmm, so last Thurs MC kindly suggested that I should take a chill pill at least one day per week (DC reiterates this point, as does everyone who knows me, I'm sure). Well, I'm embarrassed that I still have to be told this sort of thing - I'm a grown woman!! IV thought this last phrase was hilarious... =(

Well, I don't want to be the stresser or the sad one, or generally show any weakness, because history has shown that our lab does not take 'weakness' lightly. No, in all fairness the lab is very supportive and understanding, but it's just scary to watch people drop out of a PhD or not get offered one. It's scary shit. I guess that in general, people prefer extroverted, witty, clever/skilled at many things, humble, easy-going, deep, involved, logical and compassionate types - just like von Neumann.

I know about von Neumann from Chapter 5 of "Who Got Einstein's Office?", which talks about people who have been through the Institute of Advanced Study in (not of) Princeton. I read that chapter last night. And Chapter 4 the night before, 3 the night before and 2 the night before that... Yes, you're quite right, I was offered this book at the meeting with MC. I can look at brief biographies of people like von Neumann in three main ways: (1) a goal I can never attain; (2) a goal; (3) a goal I used to achieve. Depends on the day, I guess.

Chapter 4 was about fractals (see also) and set theory. I am fascinated by fractals, simply because I don't really understand them and I cannot imagine these extra dimensions in my mind. In fact, I couldn't get to sleep because I was probably thinking about transcendental numbers and I couldn't stay asleep for very long so I could look them up online in the morning. I hate that. The subconscious OCD-ness, despite conscious self-discipline... most of the time.

Chapter 1 was boring - about the Institute's beginnings and Flexnor, the guy who visioned and ran it for a while. Chapter 2 was on Einstein I think and it was disappointingly scarce on detail. 3 was on Godel and I found it sad that he thought he had not given enough to the Institute, the world, nor God. The writer goes on tangents sometimes, it's a bit weird and ever so slightly annoying.

Well, since Chapter 4 (and installing bloody CS3, which took 5x more time than what I allocated) gave me only 3.5 hours of sleep on Sun night, I think all of the new information from various people in my life was teetering me like a Jenga tower and I got horrendously upset last night and in fact, this morning. Don't get me wrong, I feel privileged to be in the know, but I guess there are many things to think about now and my brain bled some tears. It's also why I'm not talking to people, because there's a traffic jam into the Broca's. Hm... I know I don't have any control over the family worries, but at least I can offer my ears and money. I guess.

Well, I made a worry pie. I won't make a happy pie, simply because too many things make me happy and I'm easily amused, anyway. It's sort of funny that IJ's worry is over whether or not he wants to stay in science, moreso than whether or not he has the ability to do well, whereas I am definitely the other way around.

12 months from now, 7 people in my life are expected to no longer be in "reachable" distance. Well, why not.


Technorati Tags : , , ,

June 9, 2009 | 5:06 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

Microsoft Regional Innovative Students' Forum 2009
Related to country: Malaysia
About this category: Education


It's over, it's over. :( Luckily, I still have my reflections before I pop this bubble and breathe reality's air again.

Disclaimer: ~ 5 hrs sleep for ~ 7 consecutive nights didn't lend to real-time blogging, as I intended. But you know I'm more of a retro-blogger... Anyway, you have been warned: (1) This is long; (2) I am crazy; (3) Pick and mix - the bits you skip won't cry - I promise; (4) the Boxes are tangents. Hell, I feel like a tangent at times. :P

BACKGROUND

This was the 5th Asia-Pacific Microsoft Regional Innovative Teachers’ Conference, with participants from New Zealand, Philippines, Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia, to name a few. It was sponsored by Microsoft Corporation, with support from the Ministry of Education Malaysia, UNESCO and TakingITGlobal.org (TIG), to bring together teachers from Asia-Pacific to showcase innovative approaches to teaching that involve technology. The teacher attendees were chosen within their own countries as the best (don't ask me about this process, I don't know) and presented posters throughout the short Teachers' Forum (2 days) to each other and to a panel of judges who graded using the following criteria: level of innovation, effect on student participation and involvement, extent of student autonomy, relevant use of technology, in the context of available resources (e.g. funds, equipment, skill and connectivity). One winner from each country will have the privilege of competing at the global Teachers’ Forum in Brazil in November.

This year is the first time that Student Voices have been present at this region’s forum. Though it may seem like an obvious idea, its acceptance requires a leap from many educators, particularly in areas where education is still highly disciplinary and learning is assumed with teaching. TIG played a key role in finding and engaging students who would best represent the student body of the Asia-Pacific region. Students were invited to participate in online discussions over a period of ~ 3 weeks to discuss the state of education in their countries, as well as ideas about what the ideal or the future of education may look like (cf. Student Voices 20051). 15 students were chosen to attend a ‘Student Forum’ (ISF09) that occurred alongside and at the same venue (Le Meridien) as the Teachers' Forum, immersing the students in ~ 4 days of intense development and voice.

THE ISF09 PROGRAMME included:

  • discussion with local students about education: 57 students from a local KL school (who had to write an exam immediately following the meeting!) met with the student delegates and answered questions about education in groups for about 2 hours - I thought this was a good idea, at least to get more students thinking about their education and for them to know that this sort of work goes on "behind the scenes"
  • brainstorming workshop by Bernise Ang and Shaun Koh of Syinc.org: a session to help the students think more deeply about issues surrounding education and what they can do to help inspire change - I thought this was timely, especially since all of the student delegates had already talked a lot about their ideas online and it was a great time to explore them a bit more deeply and to think about their ideas in more realistic terms
  • presentation by Joel Neoh on entrepreneurship: he shares his experiences and thoughts after winning Malaysia's version of The Apprentice, 'The Firm', modelling and co-founding YouthSays.com, Malaysia's largest for-profit network of youth opinion - sort of like what 18tracker was, bu obviously better model since they have a larger contact base and also hold real events to retain and attract new members) - I think his "for-profit" model turned a lot of the students off, but nevertheless I thought it was very clever of him to harness the power of a contact list - he is obviously a very resourceful person and pragmatic about what he wants.
  • presentation and personal help by Brian Lariche on project management: Brian shares his experiences as a teacher/tutor, working with NGOs and life in general! He generously gave up his time to come back and give priceless one-on-one advice and support to the students' projects - Brian is a very interesting person, who is generous with his time and opinions - I would have liked to battle some of the topics that were raisedt if I had not felt that I might have overshadowed the students' opportunity.
  • student projects: students were given time and mentorship to brainstorm and present their ideas for improving an aspect of education through use of technology. The aim was to submit these projects for a chance to receive funding from a pool of USD5000, provided by Microsoft. These 'Micro-Grants' are intended to give the students a taste of what it takes to develop, plan and execute projects on a small scale and more importantly, provides an opportunity for their models to be tested before application for further funding and expansion. On top of this prize pool, there was also the opportunity to win free enrolment into TIG's e-course 'Sprout' for youth professional development - I think these projects were the most enjoyable part of the forum for the students - they felt like they were contributing something. However, with perspective, these will just be small stepping stones and I hope the students will remember lessons from side-conversations in years to come, as I will, no doubt.
  • student-teacher interaction: a formal session for students to address teachers was provided, as well as informal gatherings during poster presentations and breaks - to be frank, I don't think there was enough opportunity for the students and teachers to talk. Even at the Gala Dinner, I felt that the student presence was being side-lined. However, I realise that this is the first time students has been at this forum and I think it was a good first effort. Hopefully, it will continue to grow in creative ways in the future.
  • mentors and TIG staff: to help enable Student Voices on the ground, Michael Furdyk (co-founder and Director of Technology of TIG), Kat Walraven (Education Program Manager, TIG), along with 3 mentors, Bernise Ang, Shaun Koh and I basically tailed the students at every waking hour. :P Although the 3 mentors were initially designated 3 groups of students, I found that we all got along so well, it was basically one big happy group - I very much enjoyed observing and learning from this interesting group of people, with amazing skills and ideas. I only wish that I had more time with each of them to talk about our thoughts and experiences!!! I think at this age, it is difficult to find people who you connect with because everyone is moving in their own directions so rapidly. I thought we all got along extremely well.

PERSONAL OBSERVATIONS

Projects and Hope

In my opinion, the one theme that resonates with all of the student project ideas is equality. The students wanted others to receive the same opportunities they had/have, regardless of their socio-economic status, locality, teacher/school system or temporal-residency. I made this last term up to describe some students’ focus on sustainable development and ecological preservation, which in essence ensures that future generations have the same opportunities as we do.

Observing young people of diverse background/opportunity share a unified desire for equality makes me think about all of the families, teachers and communities that are successfully teaching (instructing and demonstrating) compassion. I think that the ability to place ourselves in others' shoes is a fundamental ingredient in achieving sustainability. However, teaching compassion is not easy, particularly when basic selfishness is confused with greed, and when young people are difficult to reach. I imagine thin golden threads wavering from a small child’s inner eye, attracted to and caught by larger threads that are coloured and tarnished from experience. Each cable can spark a connection that transfers love, understanding and knowledge. Together, all of the cables caress and shape this child's potential. However, the ability to spark is contextual and each community needs to establish and understand its own values and find its own way in engaging its youth and citizens. Without this, no community or society has a positive future (Box 1).


Box 1:

Building Communities

Of course, not only are cultural behaviours important, societies must also reconsider its behaviours that are biologically suicidal. For example, if we continue to pummel through our limited resources, then we are essentially killing our chances of survival. I don't really want to go into all of the arguments about 'climate change', but I think the basic idea of sustainable development makes sense. See, perhaps, Jared Diamond's Collapse: How Societies Choose To Fail Or Succeed. I have yet to read this, but have heard Diamond talk about it when he visited the University of Auckland a few years ago.

Society is More than The Sum of the Individuals

I was staring at the night-scape of Kuala Lumpur, marvelling at the lights when I suddenly saw that we can solve everything by understanding each other, so that we are able to unite our individual efforts. The problem is engagement and one can only spark passion in others by first understanding the way they view the world. For example, it would be ideal to reduce the number of city lights turned on at night to reduce power consumption. However, lighting is considered important for safety (though the validity of this is disputed in some places), so basically, we need to reduce crime. To stop raising criminals, we need equal distribution of resources and responsible communities that work to raise children together. We need more holistic/inclusive thinking/planning, for example, using ramps instead of short escalators, adjustable thermostats, smarter water cycling. The narrow thinking evident in various facets of society may be a result of an education system where the world is arbitrarily segregated and consumed in a well-pre-processed manner. Where are our integrators? Where are our high NA lenses with large fields of view?


Youth

I have learned a lot from each individual of our 20-strong crew. Every person was interesting, with their own talents, idiosyncracies, ways of thinking, stories and passions. I think one characteristic that defines youthfulness is agility. They are open-minded and open-hearted. They are eager to learn and unafraid to be optimistic.

I enjoyed observing: their faces light up at the chance to talk about their passions, at the making of new friends, at the seeding and germination of new ideas; their features break into smiles and laughter at wit, irony and fun; their eyebrows furrow at difficult concepts, tight deadlines and lack of sleep. I watched the TIG team work: listening to the students and offering insightful/motivating suggestions and stories when necessary, while I tried to do the same. I was inspired by everyone’s dedication and rapid connection with each other - TIG continues to catalyse precipitation of like-minded youths. =P

My favourite moments were the one-on-one conversations. I hope I imparted some useful "wisdom", but at the same time clear that I am learning, too - I don't claim to know everything, if anything! If only I had more time to get to know everyone and learn about their stories and ideas, not just about education.

"Night, Field of stars above us. You pick one, we frame it with our fingers intertwined. Seeds, of every generation, between our hands and I promise to teach you the little I have learned, So far..." Seeds, Brooke Fraser

I am so excited about what these young people may experience. Many of them are moving through school and entering college and indeed, the world, with a lot of hope. They will face challenges and disappointments and I would like to be a source of support and friendship, if they will let me. But already, I feel that this experience has been a privilege, for I am young, too. I am excited about my future, too.


Box 2:

West Vs. East

There may be an interesting and not necessarily sharp contrast between students schooled in Eastern and Western countries. Of course, this is not surprising if you listen to stereotypes, but it should surprising if you consider that most, if not all, of the education systems and curricula in South-East Asia are based on Western (e.g. Cambridge) systems. This leads me to yet another rant about community values (Box 1), where the culture of school and wider communities (including upbringing), more than the school system itself, shapes a child's attitudes towards formal education. No doubt, the lack of formal credit towards non-academic endeavours will also play a role in student motivation, but this are also reflect community values. I am always ranting about values, simply because I don't think many people know what their own are and why.

As a group, I was impressed with their diligence, aptitude and dedication in listening and completing tasks to a high standard. But they also giggled and whispered during boring presentations and you knew when they lost respect for someone. I would really like to dispel the myth that all Asian students possess an academic advantage. In all of the students that perform well, I think the common theme is that education is held in high esteem. They have been taught that only a sound education will allow them to get ahead, get out of poverty, realise their dreams, in life. Not just a pass or a piece of paper, but a good education. It is not just the family unit either, it is the entire nation - yes, I am actually saying that NZ does not value intellect as a nation. It doesn't. It seems like even intellectual people put themselves down or try to prove themselves by excelling in a lot of other areas. Do the same pressures fall on sports people? I think the tell-tale sign is to ask children what they think are cool or worthwhile - they are the values of that society, hmm?

Honesty

Most of the teachers and students at these conferences have English as their second language. Though it is a barrier for participation, I think it enables honesty. I guess it is a balance between being able to express yourself and being able to spin your expression. I am profoundly attracted to honesty.


Teachers and Students Students wanted their teachers to listen to them and respect their questions and suggestions. Students wanted mentors, not instructors - guided autonomy? Students liked teachers who are able to admit their mistakes/weakneses and try to improve them. Most students already have information at their fingertips - they need help digesting it. Students have lots of ideas - they need help formulating it against existing knowledge and presenting it in a logical manner.

OTHER 'FIRSTS' AND NOTES

La Malaysians and Singaporeans end their sentences with 'la', a lot. It is interesting as a rapport-creating rhetorical device, blah blah blah - but you know what is MORE interesting about it? It is the perfect platform to launch into song, e.g. "Don't worry, la... la la la la la la....l-l-l-l-la x 2.... LA..LA..LA...heee taught me hooooow toooo waaash...." (Oh Happy Day, Sister Act) Icecream Teppanyaki Icecream + toppings + chopping = good, nutritious meal. Video here (2x speed). Fish on Feet

Dr. Fish were in the house (Central Markets) and for NZD2.5, they entertained me for 10 mins. I think they enjoyed it, too (see image - that is one content fish). YouTube video (warning: squealing).

Serama - Smallest Chickens in the World

A tiny chicken, it's true! OK, at first I was sad (because they had strange posture and vocals, see video), but they are a naturally-occurring species, which means they are less likely to have problems associated with breeding (e.g. pure-bred dogs).

Batik Painting

(1) Pencil; (2) wax; (3) water-colour; (4) remove wax. Stoked I got to try it. Trying is always a win. Movies On Planes

  • Last Chance Harvey: bad script + good actors = still bad movie.
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: interesting idea - creativity = moving Brad Pitt gallery = still boring.
  • I Am Sam: interesting story + great acting (except Michelle Pfeiffer's dramatic scene) = balling eyes out on the plane = good. Being moved is always a win.

Flying Saw another plane flying by while in our Boeing... first time EVER!!! Wow, it was so fast - I knew but never grasped visually how fast it was until now. And for the first time, I noticed our plane's shadow and enjoyed watching us meeting it on the ground and seeing how fast our land speed was (ignoring the movement of the sun and our approach to the ground, etc.). Image shows tail of the other plane (bright streak) - I was too slow to capture the plane itself - and video shows the shadow. Things in a Box/Game of Things

Great game that we played after a night at the pool. Great introduction by Kat! Will remember for the future. Also thought of a PostSecret game we could have played. Oh well, next time.

The Circle So at the beginning of this trip, I was pondering about the self. I think Brian Lariche sums it up very well:
If you will think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself. Character is a by-product, and any man who devotes himself to its cultivation in his own case will become a selfish person.
I suppose things like this are supposed to be transient. The precipitate is created and then shaken into solution again to maximise the surface area for reaction.

June 1, 2009 | 8:06 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


Sofmahcaiyahwg   Sofmahcaiyahwg Mahcaiyah's TIGblog
Mahcaiyah's profile

Goals and Backup Plans.

To have a goal is very important. It makes life a bit easier, because in a way, you know what you want and how to get it.
I have many goals, because my mind works very rapidly. I have what people may call "Backup Plans" just in case my first goal fails. I want to be a climatologist. This has to do with me studying the weather in different climates of the world. If this doesnt work out, I'd like to be a therapist. I am good at keeping things to myself, I love to help my friends and family whenever they need me, and I like to help people with problems that they are having about various situations. If plans A and B don't work, I think I may become a Motivational Speaker. I love to influence others with the knowledge that I have and further mine in the process. I have been told (Not that I like to toot my own horn) that I am a very influential person and that I inspire alot of people to not quit and become more than they are. If my A, B,and C plans fail, I'd Like to become a novelist. I love to read and I love to write, So that will work out well. It is important to have a goal and a few Backups incase it fails!

-M

May 30, 2009 | 1:59 PM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

Bound for Kuala Lumpur

10:30 Pacific Time 26.05.09 Auckland Airport

I am waiting for my 12:50 flight and thinking about what I need to be to be a good mentor for Student Voices and person in general.

I need to listen.

I need to be more intellectually and emotionally flexible so that I can live more in the moment (i.e. be available). I need to move from quick understanding (passive) to quick debating (active). I need to be emotional agility to better respond to others. That is, discard any emotional baggage, so that I am not living in my head, so that I can look people in the eye and receive a compliment, notice and respond when somebody needs me and listen to and consider criticism to ask questions right there.

I’ve slowly come to realise that this availability is required for me to understand where I stand with people. That is, if I gauge the meaning of a relationship on an absolute scale, I will fall short of a correct measurement. I need to compare how people treat me versus how they treat others to gauge how they regard me, if not at a similar time (best comparison), then over a longer observation period to try remove the confounding day-to-day variation. In other words, I need to consider my relationships with people (simplistically 3 entities: me, the other and the connection) in a context of a network. That is, whatever they feel towards me has to be viewed simultaneously with their other connections, because they are constantly being pulled in those other directions.

I say this because I worry a lot about what others’ (whom I respect) think of me, but have little idea, because I am good at explaining away any positive signs of respect or affection. And with this sort of "weakness" in mind, I want to formulate a way to examine the world for feedback without imposing my need and without becoming self-centered or naive about the idea of self-improvement.

I can't wait to meet these students. I can't wait to meet the other mentors and the 'new' TIG Education programme manager and I can't wait to see Mike again! I worry about my relevance. I worry about my social skills, given my current passion/obsession is not really a topic that anybody else has an interest in. But - get on with it! Just do it!



May 25, 2009 | 6:05 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

New Country, New Segment

The Country Thing

Am going to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia in just over 4 hours. The flight will cover ~ 8713 km in ~ 12.5 hours 1. I am going for the Microsoft Regional Innovation Teachers' Conference 2009 (Twitter #isf09) with MF and other TakingITGlobal.org members - I should probably try to remember that before I get there. I'm excited, but nervous!!! More about that later if I have time. I have spent too much time doing data analysis as opposed to preparing for this. Still - 12.5 hrs left to prepare...

The Segment Thing

Maybe I will try record at least one interesting and/or entertaining conversation from each day, along with one photograph/video depending on how good the internet is.


1 http://flights.idealo.co.uk/route/Auckland-AKL/Kuala-Lumpur-KUL/
Technorati Tags : , , ,

May 25, 2009 | 4:05 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


Sofmahcaiyahwg   Sofmahcaiyahwg Mahcaiyah's TIGblog
Mahcaiyah's profile

World Corruption and It's People
About this category: Peace & Conflict


The world has become a divided place. Whole countries have turned on each other, Ethnic people have traded on thier own kind, and the foundation of the human race has taken a drastic turn towards the worst. In an efficient way, We are all 1 people: -The Human Rcae-. So, why is it that we have to hurt each other to prive a point? Why is it that we have to rape our women, kill our children, and destroy our entire beings for nothing? Is it the need for power? Respect? Or, had the corruption of the world and -Human Race- become a noted past-time or a just a hooby that we've picked up? Most elders claim that our ("Our" being people of all races younger than 35-50 years of accumulated age and wisdom) current behavior is the reason for the corruption in today's world, But, I say to elders, Were YOU all so different? Most traits that the chldren of today's world possess come from thier line of family. If you and a friend entered a store, and you saw they were stealing, you question them. If they told you that everyone in thier family did it for as long as they could rememeber, what could you say??? Its a trait they were raised on. I say to you (Trusted readers of this posted entry of my blog)What do you believe is the true meaning of the world's corruption? Is it the actions of young adults, or the past actions of thier elders? Do they want power? Respect? What is the meaning of it all??

May 23, 2009 | 10:52 PM Comments  1 comments

Tags:


Sofmahcaiyahwg   Sofmahcaiyahwg Mahcaiyah's TIGblog
Mahcaiyah's profile

A Harsh Life...

Depending on the circumstances, many people will tell you that they have a "Harsh Life". But what does this mean??? A "Harsh Life" can have many meanings. Someone could have just lost a job, a loved one, or their entire being because of the chaos they around. But, what is the true meaning of it? If you are robbed on the street, you would be considered to have a "Harsh Life" to some, But to others, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. On the other hand, Someone may have just lost a spouse, child, or very close friend. The would be considered to have a "Harsh Life" to some, But to others they may just be experiencing death and don't know how to grasp it. What Is YOUR Definition Of A"Harsh Life"???

May 22, 2009 | 3:16 AM Comments  2 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

An Oyster Doesn't Know It's Creating Pearls From A Grain of Sand

Is waiting for questions that will allow me to view my life in new light.

In other notable and possibly related news,

"So... have you got a boyfriend, yet?" - YKJ, at AM's dinner.

Me + boyfriend? Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?

But god I almost had a heart attack from the mixture of emotions:
  1. shock at her blunt approach
  2. embarrassment at the audience
  3. shame at my innocence
  4. relief that finally someone has brought up one of my major torments that I think needs to be talked through
  5. fear that if we started talking about it, I would just break down and resulting 2) and 3)
But in the end, I just muttered a quiet "no," and that was that. But hey, it's OK. I wasn't born, I was made a robot. Yes I am aware there are multiple interpretations of that sentence. Correction, PJC just told me about Cherry 2000. Ew!
Technorati Tags : , ,

May 13, 2009 | 4:05 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

An Oyster Doesn't Know It's Creating Pearls From Grains of Sand

Is waiting for questions that will allow me to view my life in new light.

In other notable and possibly related news,

"So... have you got a boyfriend, yet?" - YKJ, at AM's dinner.

Me + boyfriend? Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?

But god I almost had a heart attack from the mixture of emotions:
  1. shock at her blunt approach
  2. embarrassment at the audience
  3. shame at my innocence
  4. relief that finally someone has brought up one of my major torments that I think needs to be talked through
  5. fear that if we started talking about it, I would just break down and resulting 2) and 3)
But in the end, I just muttered a quiet "no," and that was that.

But hey, it's OK. I wasn't born, I was made a robot.

Yes I am aware there are multiple interpretations of that sentence. Correction, PJC just told me about Cherry 2000. Ew!

Technorati Tags : , ,

May 13, 2009 | 4:05 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

People Are Sad! :(

There are people around me who are sad/stressed.

Are you?

This is the point where I wish it was OK to hug you without it being weird.

But in the mean time, I can listen and try to make you feel better. I'm good at it! I guess you have to ask my conf... what do you call people confiding to a confidant? ... In all honesty, it's a relative thing. :P

But - it'll be OK! Hope this makes you smile, like it made me smile: But it sort of just occurred to me that while I consider that many of my bad feelings can be alleviated with a hug, it might be the same for other people, too! I always sort of assumed that other people only got bothered with real problems, whose resultant bad feelings cannot be alleviated with a hug.

May 8, 2009 | 6:05 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

This Is About Trust

The End of the World

OK, I watched Large Impact Simulation (1) and you know how I reacted? I thought, no, I felt that if the world is to be destroyed tomorrow, _we_ will be together. The strength of this feeling was such that I am still in shock and I can retrieve it at any time. But _we_ don't and cannot exist. Maybe I just want to someone trust like that. Maybe I want to be bold and take what I want like that.

Power Trips

I really refuse to participate in the power games that some people seem to play. It's not about dominance at all - it's about trust and being comfortable with yourself, isn't it? Or should I learn to play the game, too?

Evidence that Effort Influences Outcome

Danny MacAskill shows in Inspired Bicycles (2) that determination can bring about stunning results. Further, he shows he can innovate while respecting current norms.

This is motivating, because a lot of the time I feel as if no amount of effort can make up for my deficiencies in characteristics necessary to a good academic (problem-solving, networking information, perseverance, teaching, people management) or to handle 'politics' or withstand inevitable betrayal of my trust (diplomacy, cleverness, boldness, strength).

Other Questions

  1. Surely, I don't deserve the wonderful friends and family I have? =)
  2. Do PhD students really think the world revolves around them? Am I like that? =(
  3. Do women really claim men and leave them for dead once they have them? I wouldn't do that, right? When men and women degrade each other, it's only in humour, right? They really love each other, right? =(

Song of the Post Your Body Is A Wonderland John Mayer

(1) Recommendation by KV (2) From Ze Frank
Technorati Tags : , , , ,

May 6, 2009 | 7:05 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

A Quickie

Hey all. Still alive, yes, yes. CQ Reunion at Auckland Zoo on the weekend. Spent a solid 3 -4 hours painting people's faces. Loved studying their contours and applying colour. Loved asking the kids what they wanted to be and enabling it. Love playing with kids. Loved seeing AP, who is turning 12 next month. I turned 23 today. So much gratitude for my friends and family. So many kind words from far and wide, from unexpected corners. Thank you so so so much. Every word, every action, every smile and hug. Everything. So much impact on me right now. I needed this right now. I only hope I can be a source of light, too. Found this a couple of weeks ago when answering a questionnaire about the quality of PhD supervision. It asked me how confident I was in the items below:
  • Train and supervise research assistants
  • Perform research procedures to collect data
  • Identify and report limitations of a study
  • Attend to all relevant details of data collection
  • Effectively edit your writing to make it logical and succinct
  • Analyze research data
  • Synthesize results with regard to current literature
  • Write method and results section for a research article or similar publication
  • Ensure data collection is reliable across trial, raters and/or equipment
  • Effectively write a research article or similar publication on your own
  • Organize your proposed research ideas in writing
  • Write an introduction and literature review for a research article or similar publication
  • Choose appropriate data analysis techniques
  • Identify implications for future research
  • Incorporate feedback to improve your research design or write-up
  • Develop a logical rationale for your research idea
  • Generate researchable questions
  • Interpret and understand data analyses
  • Synthesize current literature
  • Choose an appropriate research design
  • Identify areas of needed research, based on reading the literature
  • Utilize criticism from reviews of your ideas
  • Write a discussion section for a research article or similar publication
  • Obtain approval to pursue research (e.g., approval from appropriate Ethics Committee)
Holy fudging crap cakes. But damn that's me in the intermediate-future. I hope. Meanwhile, V addiction is creeping up on me. So, none of that tomorrow. Songs of late: Something's Missing and Split Screen Sadness. Both by John Mayer:

Eurgh I can't check their quality for you, because Telecom is being a floater.
Technorati Tags : ,

April 29, 2009 | 5:04 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

If Could Be Wrong, I Could Be Ready

I've been listening a lot to Coldplay and John Mayer lately. I like listening to people talk about things they care about, I suppose that's why I like listening to songwriters sing their songs*. It's the same and almost guarantees honesty.

In Repair
John Mayer

Bigger Than My Body
John Mayer

I know I enjoy the present, I don't want to go back to the past - I'm just seeking confidence. I am finding signs that people believe in my abilities, e.g. if they are willing to have open-minded, informative discussions with me about controversial topics and if they are willing to talk to me and seek advice. I may not have all the solutions, especially regarding serious issues like schizophrenia and abuse, but I'll do my best and what I think is most appropriate.

I am reminded to be grateful that these two issues are not closer than they already are.


*also art and composers, etc.
Technorati Tags : , , ,

April 15, 2009 | 5:04 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:


cherrie   cherrie Cherrie's TIGblog
Cherrie's profile

A PhD Is Not A Gold Standard

Two things today annoyed me (apart from finding I had bought mouldy carrots and caterpillar-enriched lettuce):

ONE

X: hey how's it going...what are you doing these days, a PhD?
Me: yep
X: just started?
Me: no, almost one year now...
X: oh really? have you secured your funding? how is your project?
Me: Yeah I have funding. Not quite sure about what I'm doing though, but I'll keep going... just doing my lit. review while I try to figure it out
X: Lit. review? Wait, are you doing your honours? Masters?
Me: PhD.
X: Why are you doing a lit. review? I never did a lit. review.
Me: It's a first year goal to finish a substantial piece of writing, so though I don't technically have to, I might as well write as a I read...
X: Pfft (that's ridiculous)?!


TWO

Me: I want MC to get back so he can help me. I don't know what I should do.
X: You really should try to think about it yourself.



BOTH of them involve someone else trying to tell me I don't know what I'm doing/that I'm inferior. What is with that? Am I not thinking enough? If I am not, how do I think more effectively? If I am thinking enough, does it mean I'm not good enough for a PhD? What does that even mean? Having a PhD is not a gold standard.

Everybody has an opinion, but few want to listen. To one person I'm too arrogant to ask for help, to another I'm not independent enough. Too hard to get, too easy. Too organised, too dreamy. Too energetic, too pessimistic. Too nothing.

I just want to talk with people I can trust and who won't try to 'win' at every opportunity. I don't want to talk to anyone else anymore. - leave me alone.

Also, I'm not going to let these comments get to me - I'm only going to listen to people I respect. You know I respect you, right? Maybe you don't. Sometimes I feel so incredibly defeated in every aspect I said I'd try to achieve. I just wanted to help you.



Technorati Tags : , ,

March 24, 2009 | 5:03 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:




SOF-JasmineR's Profile


Latest Posts
youth migration

Monthly Archive
November 2006

Change Language


Filter By Type
Events

Friends
Mahcaiyah
Alexander
Ali
Ally <33
atif ahmad
Candace Cahoe
Cherrie
cmsShaelynn
cougarsAnthony
cougarsChelsea
cougarsChristian
cougarsDustin
cougarskarissa
David Habba
diamond in da rough
Girl
Haillie
jamar stevens
Janiice
jasonwaid
Joel Kalpram
katherine
Michael Spearman
Muneeb Khadim
Mustapha
phobe
punk-princess
sincerraep
SOF-CameronDS
SOF-CarmenL
SOF-CieraC
SOF-CierraW
SOF-CorrineM
SOF-DemitryB
SOF-DonteS
SOF-EmmanuelL
SOF-JasmineW
SOF-JessicaN
SOF-JosephB
SOF-KierraO
SOF-KimaraP
SOF-KrystynaH
SOF-LafayetteM
SOF-LillianW
SOF-LittletonH
SOF-MarkG
SOF-MichaelG2
SOF-MiyataT
SOF-MyeshaJ
sof-quettaf
SOF-SamirE
SOF-TanishaP
SOF-TimothyR
SOF-ValentinaJ
Stephen Spence
thanh vu pham
That guy
Vailette
YoungRell
Волк Апокалипси


4097 views
Important Disclaimer